Viva, Las Vegas!

"What happens here, stays here."  What a brilliant slogan for Vegas to come up with and if you say it enough times you believe it!  Unfortunately, what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas and people are who are suspicious of you anyway, will never believe the truth no matter how many times you tell it.  So, one might as well do what they are accused of anyway, right?  Perhaps not.  Either way, I had an interesting time there.

I was back working at NAB for the first time in 3 years.  I felt ready.  Granted, I cried at the airport as my husband, daughter and 2 year old son dropped me off.  It was hard hearing Lennon crying, "Mommy, come back! Mommy, come back!" As the car sped away.  Lola in tears as well as me and my husband.  I was going to be gone for 6 days, 7 nights!  Seemed like a long time to be away from my family.  However, once I got there, I was ready.  I was eager to work, to show what I could do, and get recognized by my peers and bosses for having stayed on my game.  I could have been 15 pounds lighter, but I don't think that was noticeable.  Clothes that fit are a wonder.

I was on the big solutions stage and had two scripts back to back.  I ended up doing about 22 a day.  That's a lot of talking.  I was had some great people in my area that I was working with, Dave, David & Jason.  Demo guys who helped make the presentation much more interesting and were kind and funny.  One of them had a tragic story to tell which absolutely broke my heart.  I noticed the wedding band and asked if he had children.  David hesitated.  I knew right then something was wrong.  He has a daughter who is 16 and he had a son, who would have been 19.  He died 3 years ago by drowning.  An excellent swimmer, he hit his head on a curvy slide at a water park and no one noticed him in the whirlpool until one of his friends came down the slide looking for him.  I was so overwhelmed by this, I wanted to hold him.  More so, I wanted to hold Lennon in that great hug he gives where his whole body envelopes mine.  My heart broke for David and his family.  He's never sure what to say when asked this question and I said just what he said. He did have two children.  His son matters and was very important to them.  I'm grateful for my children.   And know life is tender and we should be grateful for every moment.  Life is also a struggle and gets in the way of enjoying it!

The show was very good.  I also was not alone on this one, unlike Cedia in September, where I was the only presenter.  This time around, some great talent shared the other stages in the booth: Great gals, Tina & Robin, and terrific guys, Matt & Vic.  We laughed a lot and had a chance to hang out with each other in between shows.  We went out one night and hung out at the pool party looking for ice cream.  I was too full from dinner to have any.

For a week I didn't snack.  I didn't eat anything extra.  I reminded myself that I have to do this when I get home.  That would help in losing the 15 pounds if I would stop eating Lennon's leftovers!

Back to the beginning paragraph. A little cryptic, but to protect the innocent, names and situations shall remain nameless.  The one thing I will say, is that I'm married to a man who will fight for my honor.  He has shown me again and again that I married the right guy.  My two female presenters are married to the right men, too.  Sure, we're all annoyed at the same things we all get annoyed at: not enough time and attention, they move too slow, fighting about raising kids and not enough money, but over all, wouldn't change it for the world.

Scary Business

I never thought I would feel so worried about paying the bills.  I moved to New York City in a Ryder Truck with 3 other girls filled with wide-eyed aspirations.  I had my stuff, no apartment, no job.  I had some money from working and my parents.  I was lucky enough to be friends with Tony Frangipane, we did a tour together, and I crashed on his floor.  With his help, he told me that there was a studio apartment opening up on the 1st floor (technically 2nd), so we went in to talk to the owner.  We begged him to let me have it.  I had cash to pay the first months rent, $750.00.  "Do you have a job?" He asked.  "No, I said.  But I will get one."  Tony immediately chimed in, "I'm the manager at TGIF's and I will hire right now."  He looked me over and said that I seemed like a very nice Texas girl and that although he had a waiting list for this apartment, he was going to give it to me. Whew!  What a relief.  I moved in two days later and that same day went to Kelly Girls to find a part time job.  I got one at the Clayton Group, a mortgage portfolio analysis company.  I got $11/hour and refused to stay on full time even with the carrot of getting health insurance.  I was still an actress.  I stayed for a year.

I don't know what I am right now.  Jake & I had some nice opportunities this week in voice overs, but this was another no income week.  I'm leaving for Vegas next Friday to do a trade show and I will be making some good money, but I won't see if for three months and then it will only pay for about a month and half of expenses.  I have some money left in savings, but not much.  If I move over what I have left, that's it.  No more cushion.  We keep waiting for the tide to turn, but so far nothing.  I'm looking forward to getting my per diem soon and hoping I can make that last beyond the job.  I'll need to be taken out to dinners and I usually relish some time alone when I'm on these things, but I won't be able to afford that.

I suppose I have to put myself back in 1993 when I was fresh and new and had no opportunities except my self confidence that I would succeed and find that person again.  Our expenses are so huge that an $11/hour job is not going to cut it.

I applied for a drama teaching position at the Brearley School.  I would love the opportunity to do that job.  It would be a lot of work, but I'm up for the challenge and I would love to get paid for something that I love to do and know how to do. At the Schoolhouse Theatre, I put myself out there for a stage managing position, too, but that's just a couple of bucks.  Of course, I'd rather be acting there, but no matter how many roles go by there that I'm right for, I never get asked to read.  I have to remind the AD that I'm available for acting roles, too, although that doesn't pay as much.

I feel a bit gloomy about this.  I have a beautiful 2 year old son, so how gloomy can it be?