"You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown!"

Here's a picture of 12-year-old me as Lucy in "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown!". That was 7th grade at Piedmont Middle School in San Jose, CA. while my dad was stationed there. I remember a few things from that performance. 1) I was afraid to make an ugly face in my first real production ever. So when Snoopy "licks" my face and I'm supposed to say, "Dog germs! Yuk!!", I couldn't do it facing the audience. 2) the song "Schroeder" was really high. And 3) for months after I would sing the songs in my head and go over mistake I made.

Years later, I'm now having the wonderful opportunity of directing this show at the Clinton School for Writers and Artists in Manhattan. The kids we've assembled (a cast of 33) are quite amazing. From our Charlie Brown down to the smallest (in size) chorus member, these are a talented bunch of kids. We had to double cast a couple of roles, they are that good! Everyone I tell about this show has a happy memory, either of being in it or seeing it or wearing out the album! The great thing about being in a school for writers and artists is that the parents tend to be talented as well. I've needed lighting and sound consultants, costume & set designers, and music transposers and I've been able to find them all in our Clinton community.

Rehearsals are going well and I'm looking forward to our blocking rehearsal on Monday. The following week, we'll be ready to stumble through the show a little bit. It's been a lot of fun, which has once cemented the idea for me that I love directing, teaching, and working with kids.

More to come as we get more into the rehearsal process.

Performances are March 17-19th.

Auditions Are Done!

The monologue workshop class was a success. My students--all girls--all talented and beautiful worked hard on their pieces and were ready. I'm very proud of them. LaGuardia and Frank Sinatra High School for the Performing Arts were this weekend. Most of the girls participated in them this weekend. Most got called back. My heart breaks for all the kids who did not. This matters so much to them. Some of best actors never went to school here, but it's no consolation at the moment. I know rejection, so I know how they feel.

Teaching these kids was a really great experience. It had been a while since I've taught this age group, and it showed me that I really like teaching and have something to offer. I do hope to do this again next year. I would like to teach a two week workshop in the summer culminating in a production for parents and friends to come, so really it's more like a performance workshop.

I'm going to be co-directing a middle school production of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown!" Takes me back to my middle school years when I played Lucy in that production. I remember being so concerned how I looked that I didn't want to make the ugly face when Snoopy licks me and I'm supposed to say, "Eww, dog germs!!" I turned upstage. I was no Meryl Streep. I've gotten over that now.

As work begets work, in the middle of all this, I got a co-starring role on "One Life to Live" as Maid #2 at the sleazy Minute Men Hotel. I won't give a way the scene, but the man who was in the scene with me, John Wesley Shipp, starred on Guiding Light years ago as Dr. Kelly Nelson. He was chased by a woman named Nola, played by the terrific Lisa Brown. Where are they now? Well, John showed up in Llanview and Lisa revived her role on Guiding Light the week of it's final run.

Anyway, it was very exciting for me to be in a scene with John, and when you see the scene you'll laugh, but it was still great. I used to watch him on GL after school. The soap my mom had on. I only got to see the last 1/2 hour because I got home after it started. My husband doesn't understand the draw to soaps and I guess with reality television creeping into the airways, the viewing public doesn't want them anymore. But with One Life to Live, the only soap in New York, I want it to last! I've appeared on OLTL 7 times, not including all the extra work I did before that.

My husband and I are still looking for that one job to give us some financial security, but we have each other and our sometimes wonderful kids!

Monologue Workshop Going Great!

The monologue workshop is off to a great start. We've had two classes, and the girls (no boys this 'round) are working on their second monologue. We've been doing improvs, cold readings, and working on introductions. Too much "ums" and "uhs" but that's why we're practicing!

The girls were much better prepared the second class and are excited about their pieces. Their first monologue choices were all good. I've given them a second one. Nice contrast, too. Trying to explain to the kids that they don't need a happy and a sad piece. Contrasting can also mean different moods or character. They all have that. We need to continue to work on staging and presentation.

I've said this many times before, but I want the kids to be happy and learn something they didn't know before. The High School audition process here in New York is very competitive, with thousands of kids auditioning for a few spots. I would love for all my students to get into the school of their dreams, however, what I really hope for, is that they feel good about what they've accomplished.

Classes starting

I don't know what I was waiting for, but after a rejection from the New York Conservatory of Dramatic Art to teach a class there in the fall, I decided, thanks to a little encouragement, to take matters into my own hands.  I am working on a couple of classes: a monologue workshop to get Middle School aged kids ready for their High School auditions and an acting workshop.

I'm also going to pursue my Master's Degree in Theatre to have more opportunities to teach at the college level.  Once Lennon is in school full time, which will be in two years, hard to believe, I will have some time to do this.  It'll be fun to be back in school again and learn acting in a school in New York City.  Something I've always wanted to do.

I'm excited about this new phase in my career.  Thanks for your continued support and encouragement.

What is it that we're living for...?

When I was 15 years old, I moved (yet again, because my dad was in the Navy) to Corpus Christi, TX, the place of my birth.  I was very unhappy.  I was leaving Annandale, VA where I had gone to WT Woodson HS for two years.  I had just finished participating in the spring production of "The Wiz" playing a variety of roles.  Ms. Joan C. Bedinger, who sadly died two years ago, was our drama teacher.  I have a poster of her that the current drama teacher of Woodson, a dear woman and friend, Terri Hobson, gave me.  We framed it and it's one of my treasured possessions.  Ms. B. was great.  When I auditioned for "The Wiz" she had me up against a senior for the part of Dorothy and really made me think I had a chance.  I didn't get it, but I was so thrilled to be a part of this group.  I was a poppy, a yellow brick road (that's me on the right), and an Emerald City citizen.  Many of my cast mates and I have reconnected, thanks to Facebook.  So, leaving this environment was not easy.  I started my junior year of HS glumly and then to find there was no drama department to speak of, no auditorium (the gym with a stage or was it the cafeteria?), I was destroyed!  A drama teacher who got her back scratched by her students while the rest of us did our homework from other classes is what greeted me.  Saying this, I still liked her very much, she had given up on putting on shows with no support from the heavily dominated sports program at our school.  So, mercifully, I was allowed to join senior choir and madrigals even though there was a little uproar from others who did not get in saying it wasn't fair because I hadn't been in choir there before.  I just transferred here you moron!

It wasn't until my senior year that the drama program started jumping.  I, and several of my fellow classmates, started doing the UIL competitions.  We entered the One Act Play Festival and did a version of "Once Upon A Mattress."  I played the Queen and won Best Actress, although we didn't advance to state.  We were robbed.  One of my first acting awards.  I did place 2nd in state for poetry interpretation which included, Roal Dahl's, "The Three Little Pigs," Shel Silverstein's poem, "The Little Boy and the Old Man," and Chaucer's, "The Wife of Bath's Tale."  I was such a jerk at that last reading, because a girl had read  a cutting from it, too, but had misspelled Chaucer so I had to fix it because I didn't want the judges thinking I didn't know how to spell.  It worked out.  I was the only Carroll Student to make it to state, but in going, I missed my prom.  Not that I had anyone to go with having lived there for barely two years.  I was already hanging out with an older crowd because of community theatre and trying to find my way.  I was hanging around with the stoners as well, although I never puffed or inhaled anything.

The other thing that saved me from utter depression in moving to Texas was being a part of the Harbor Playhouse.  My first show was in "Applause."  I played Bonnie, the lead hoofer, and I didn't know I couldn't dance until I moved to New York City.  But by Corpus standards I was a triple threat.  In New York, I'm a singer that moves.  I sang, "Shall We Dance" for the audition and had to do a combination. I was cocky enough to think I could play Eve, but the director didn't know me and thanks to Jean C. a woman who ran the youth theatre department there at the time, convinced her friend, the director, to cast me.  She did and I was so excited to be in this show.  I felt like I was in a professional production, I didn't get paid, it was community theatre, but I learned so much there.  I compared every theatre and job to Harbor Playhouse in years since.  I have never forgotten the first review I ever received for "Applause."  I don't remember the critic (I should), but it was in the Corpus Christi Caller Times, and I quote, "The most melodic music comes from out of the chorus when Carmen Wiley [nee] bursts through the title song midway through the first act.  The Carroll High School student has, as they say, a great set of pipes."

While in Corpus for 10 years I was the lead in numerous productions at the Harbor Playhouse, Del Mar Jr. College, The Ritz, and the University.  Shows included, The Fantasticks, Carousel, Barnum, She Stoops to Conquer, A Chorus Line, Side by Side by Sondheim, Grease, and A...My Name is Alice, to name a few.  It was a great time.  I can honestly say that some of the shows I saw and did in Corpus were better than what I've seen in New York.  You can put up crap here and call it theatre and get paid!.  There, you don't get paid, but you have your pride and passion.  I stayed to long in Corpus for a variety of reasons, and who knows what would be different if I came to NYC right off.  I wouldn't have this nose, but then I might be doing character actress roles and actually have a career!

As a New York actress and singer I've done quite a bit, from commercials, industrials, soaps, and theatre.  Since before Lennon it has slowed down a lot for me and for my husband, the bread winner.  The pressure to find work, get more auditions, and find new things to do to sell what we've got has caused tension and distress.  I've got a movie and theatre script to put out there, I want to teach, and I want to sing.  Every audition matters.  For some reason I started keeping a log of my work this year.  I've never done that before.  Was it to show myself how depressing my business is right now?  Success!!  I've booked ONE job this year and that was for the disaster of a trade show in Vegas, NAB for SONY.  The show wasn't a disaster, the aftermath was thanks to someone's crazy wife, the whole experience has left me feeling blue.

I had an audition two weeks ago thanks to a fellow mommy and friend for Walgreens.  I was watching her 2 year old play with my 2 year old while she went to it.  She was going as a pharmacist and I told her I've played a pharmacist a few times.  She said, "You should go to this."  Yeah, right.  She comes back from the audition and says there's an Hispanic spec and I absolutely should go.  Do I have an agent who can send me?  I do and I don't.  I freelance, and those agencies won't send me because it would compromise their clients.  I email my manager, and give her the details.  Two hours later she calls me and says she had sent my picture and resume over and that they will see me at 4:30.  Great!  I go.  I was a customer who says, "I'm not always sure what I get off the counter will react with my prescriptions.  My pharmacist helps me figure it out."  Next day, I'm called back for Monday.  Monday night they are calling to check my availability for a fitting and shoot dates.  By Thursday, I'm released.  If it all didn't matter so much, that would be different.  That same week I went in for an audition for an industrial film, another good job for me.  Elizabeth Vargas type.  I can do that.  Nothing.  Jake is on hold for a Purina National.  They release him from the cat spot saying they want a woman to do that.  And the next day, release him all together.  It all sucks.  I don't know where our next paychecks are coming from, because I have nothing out there.  I don't want to put all this pessimism out there, but it's hard sometimes.  I'm a Sagittarius, the arrow points up, but lately, it's slowly being pulled downwards.

I still have my health, my family, my precious 2 year old Lennon, who grew another inch in one month! He's terrific...my parents, my friends...but still the rejection of this business hurts.  Hurts a lot.  And I'm left singing my old song with that great review..."What is it that we're living for?  Applause, applause?  Nothing I know brings on the glow, like sweet applause.  You're thinking your through, that nobody cares, then suddenly you, hear it starting..."  I'm waiting.

Viva, Las Vegas!

"What happens here, stays here."  What a brilliant slogan for Vegas to come up with and if you say it enough times you believe it!  Unfortunately, what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas and people are who are suspicious of you anyway, will never believe the truth no matter how many times you tell it.  So, one might as well do what they are accused of anyway, right?  Perhaps not.  Either way, I had an interesting time there.

I was back working at NAB for the first time in 3 years.  I felt ready.  Granted, I cried at the airport as my husband, daughter and 2 year old son dropped me off.  It was hard hearing Lennon crying, "Mommy, come back! Mommy, come back!" As the car sped away.  Lola in tears as well as me and my husband.  I was going to be gone for 6 days, 7 nights!  Seemed like a long time to be away from my family.  However, once I got there, I was ready.  I was eager to work, to show what I could do, and get recognized by my peers and bosses for having stayed on my game.  I could have been 15 pounds lighter, but I don't think that was noticeable.  Clothes that fit are a wonder.

I was on the big solutions stage and had two scripts back to back.  I ended up doing about 22 a day.  That's a lot of talking.  I was had some great people in my area that I was working with, Dave, David & Jason.  Demo guys who helped make the presentation much more interesting and were kind and funny.  One of them had a tragic story to tell which absolutely broke my heart.  I noticed the wedding band and asked if he had children.  David hesitated.  I knew right then something was wrong.  He has a daughter who is 16 and he had a son, who would have been 19.  He died 3 years ago by drowning.  An excellent swimmer, he hit his head on a curvy slide at a water park and no one noticed him in the whirlpool until one of his friends came down the slide looking for him.  I was so overwhelmed by this, I wanted to hold him.  More so, I wanted to hold Lennon in that great hug he gives where his whole body envelopes mine.  My heart broke for David and his family.  He's never sure what to say when asked this question and I said just what he said. He did have two children.  His son matters and was very important to them.  I'm grateful for my children.   And know life is tender and we should be grateful for every moment.  Life is also a struggle and gets in the way of enjoying it!

The show was very good.  I also was not alone on this one, unlike Cedia in September, where I was the only presenter.  This time around, some great talent shared the other stages in the booth: Great gals, Tina & Robin, and terrific guys, Matt & Vic.  We laughed a lot and had a chance to hang out with each other in between shows.  We went out one night and hung out at the pool party looking for ice cream.  I was too full from dinner to have any.

For a week I didn't snack.  I didn't eat anything extra.  I reminded myself that I have to do this when I get home.  That would help in losing the 15 pounds if I would stop eating Lennon's leftovers!

Back to the beginning paragraph. A little cryptic, but to protect the innocent, names and situations shall remain nameless.  The one thing I will say, is that I'm married to a man who will fight for my honor.  He has shown me again and again that I married the right guy.  My two female presenters are married to the right men, too.  Sure, we're all annoyed at the same things we all get annoyed at: not enough time and attention, they move too slow, fighting about raising kids and not enough money, but over all, wouldn't change it for the world.

Scary Business

I never thought I would feel so worried about paying the bills.  I moved to New York City in a Ryder Truck with 3 other girls filled with wide-eyed aspirations.  I had my stuff, no apartment, no job.  I had some money from working and my parents.  I was lucky enough to be friends with Tony Frangipane, we did a tour together, and I crashed on his floor.  With his help, he told me that there was a studio apartment opening up on the 1st floor (technically 2nd), so we went in to talk to the owner.  We begged him to let me have it.  I had cash to pay the first months rent, $750.00.  "Do you have a job?" He asked.  "No, I said.  But I will get one."  Tony immediately chimed in, "I'm the manager at TGIF's and I will hire right now."  He looked me over and said that I seemed like a very nice Texas girl and that although he had a waiting list for this apartment, he was going to give it to me. Whew!  What a relief.  I moved in two days later and that same day went to Kelly Girls to find a part time job.  I got one at the Clayton Group, a mortgage portfolio analysis company.  I got $11/hour and refused to stay on full time even with the carrot of getting health insurance.  I was still an actress.  I stayed for a year.

I don't know what I am right now.  Jake & I had some nice opportunities this week in voice overs, but this was another no income week.  I'm leaving for Vegas next Friday to do a trade show and I will be making some good money, but I won't see if for three months and then it will only pay for about a month and half of expenses.  I have some money left in savings, but not much.  If I move over what I have left, that's it.  No more cushion.  We keep waiting for the tide to turn, but so far nothing.  I'm looking forward to getting my per diem soon and hoping I can make that last beyond the job.  I'll need to be taken out to dinners and I usually relish some time alone when I'm on these things, but I won't be able to afford that.

I suppose I have to put myself back in 1993 when I was fresh and new and had no opportunities except my self confidence that I would succeed and find that person again.  Our expenses are so huge that an $11/hour job is not going to cut it.

I applied for a drama teaching position at the Brearley School.  I would love the opportunity to do that job.  It would be a lot of work, but I'm up for the challenge and I would love to get paid for something that I love to do and know how to do. At the Schoolhouse Theatre, I put myself out there for a stage managing position, too, but that's just a couple of bucks.  Of course, I'd rather be acting there, but no matter how many roles go by there that I'm right for, I never get asked to read.  I have to remind the AD that I'm available for acting roles, too, although that doesn't pay as much.

I feel a bit gloomy about this.  I have a beautiful 2 year old son, so how gloomy can it be?