I never thought I would feel so worried about paying the bills. I moved to New York City in a Ryder Truck with 3 other girls filled with wide-eyed aspirations. I had my stuff, no apartment, no job. I had some money from working and my parents. I was lucky enough to be friends with Tony Frangipane, we did a tour together, and I crashed on his floor. With his help, he told me that there was a studio apartment opening up on the 1st floor (technically 2nd), so we went in to talk to the owner. We begged him to let me have it. I had cash to pay the first months rent, $750.00. "Do you have a job?" He asked. "No, I said. But I will get one." Tony immediately chimed in, "I'm the manager at TGIF's and I will hire right now." He looked me over and said that I seemed like a very nice Texas girl and that although he had a waiting list for this apartment, he was going to give it to me. Whew! What a relief. I moved in two days later and that same day went to Kelly Girls to find a part time job. I got one at the Clayton Group, a mortgage portfolio analysis company. I got $11/hour and refused to stay on full time even with the carrot of getting health insurance. I was still an actress. I stayed for a year.
I don't know what I am right now. Jake & I had some nice opportunities this week in voice overs, but this was another no income week. I'm leaving for Vegas next Friday to do a trade show and I will be making some good money, but I won't see if for three months and then it will only pay for about a month and half of expenses. I have some money left in savings, but not much. If I move over what I have left, that's it. No more cushion. We keep waiting for the tide to turn, but so far nothing. I'm looking forward to getting my per diem soon and hoping I can make that last beyond the job. I'll need to be taken out to dinners and I usually relish some time alone when I'm on these things, but I won't be able to afford that.
I suppose I have to put myself back in 1993 when I was fresh and new and had no opportunities except my self confidence that I would succeed and find that person again. Our expenses are so huge that an $11/hour job is not going to cut it.
I applied for a drama teaching position at the Brearley School. I would love the opportunity to do that job. It would be a lot of work, but I'm up for the challenge and I would love to get paid for something that I love to do and know how to do. At the Schoolhouse Theatre, I put myself out there for a stage managing position, too, but that's just a couple of bucks. Of course, I'd rather be acting there, but no matter how many roles go by there that I'm right for, I never get asked to read. I have to remind the AD that I'm available for acting roles, too, although that doesn't pay as much.
I feel a bit gloomy about this. I have a beautiful 2 year old son, so how gloomy can it be?
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